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  • Writer's pictureMonthly Motivational Shit

Ronnie Jacobs Jr. 33.

Updated: Dec 31, 2019

So I think I can finally speak calmly on this matter. About three months ago, a man was murdered literally around the corner from my home. I saw him almost every single day for the last 5 years. He lived on the bench about 700 feet from my front door. I always wondered about his life and what led him to that bench but I never had the courage to ask. He never bothered anyone, made any ruckus, nor left the neighborhood worse than he found it each night. He had a schedule of some sort which had him up really early in the morning to go where ever he went and did whatever he did. Then, he’d come back to the same bench, and sleep the same way: alone, outside, & without the comforts of a pillow. I passed him regularly while I walked Levi early in the morning. I passed him on my way to 7-11 as well anytime I craved a snack, or a beverage. I passed him to meet up with people on the Trolley Trail. He never made me feel unsafe or watched. He became a silent consistent part of my daily routine but I never had a conversation with him. I don’t even know what his voice sounded like. Whoever he was… he was a human being that earned and lost a lot of things, a man that lived out his last 5 years on a bench, staying to himself, and not bothering or asking anything from anyone. He was man that at some point had a family and at some point he lost them. Was it his actions? Was it this chaotic world? Was it by choice or by force? Who knows? I don’t. The thought of anyone living out their last 5 years the way that he did makes me very sad. He died a violent death and that breaks my heart even more. Sometimes when I think about it as deeply as I feel, I can feel his grunt and his dreads hit his own face as I feel his shock while he falls to the ground, face down to be found around 5:30AM by a morning walker. He was found 30 minutes before I would have started getting ready to walk Levi. But that morning my husband was scheduled to go in a little later, therefor I stayed in bed just a little longer. His name was Ronnie Jacobs Jr. He was 33 years old and identified with no fixed address. That bench was his home. I was his neighbor and a shitty one at that. I have no idea who did it and why. But I do remember how I felt when my brother was killed and facing that reality of the possibility of never having the closure of knowing who did it. It is a very empty feeling. Fortunately, the killer of my 20 year old brother was found, identified, and put away. That is a blessing that I will forever be grateful for, that blessing alone helps me sleep at night knowing that my younger brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles, and my mom can sleep just a little knowing some type of justice was served. Nothing will ever replace a life, no matter how much time passes, and how many great memories we may create as we live on. The pain of knowing that someone’s life was taken does not compare. Currently, a lot of my mutual friends and I are mourning Ronet’s death (22, Beautiful, Brilliant, a Light) and I know that this feeling is here forever but I am grateful that I had a chance to meet her, to laugh with her, and to connect with her. Fortunately, her drunk ass driving ass killer is identified as well and that type of closure is also provided for her mom, dad, brother, family, partner, and friends. I still cry for others that I have lost over the years and think about the families, the kids, and everything that was left behind. That shit hurts deep. If you have any information at all regarding Ronnie Jacobs Jr.’s death or even any information about his life please contact the police. Anyone with information is asked to call police at 1-866-411-TIPS.

Seriously, even this article is dry as fuck and my heart just crumbles thinking that this is the only way he will be recalled.

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Monthly Motivational Shit
Monthly Motivational Shit
Feb 20, 2020

After reading your blog about grief, I see that this is something we both feel easily! Thank you for sharing and being. Thank you babe. And this is OURRR world here and I look forward to continue building it with you too.


Carmen Hernandez
Carmen Hernandez
Aug 01, 2019

Don't beat yourself up too much about not reaching out to him, just be thankful that his death and life impacted you enough for you to FEEL something about it; to care. Now, hopefully this experience will help you reach out where you see fit in the future and who knows? you might one day save a life. But always remember, you are just human and as such, you may not have the courage or knowledge or even the thought of reaching out to someone in need, and that is okay. I'm proud of you either way. You continue to amaze me mama. Keep growing and changing and feeling.

Love, Carmen.

P.S. Look! I finally came and viewed your website!…

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