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  • Writer's pictureAmanda Jones

Toxic Masculinity. Educate yourself and please do better.

I had an experience a few weeks ago where I was harassed and video taped at a gas station near my new place. It was late and I stopped for gas on my way to pick up my friend to go to Friday’s. I was grabbing trash out of my car and grabbing my debit card to pay and I accidentally threw my debit card in the trash. I was trying to dig through it and some nice man offered to help and dumped the trash on the ground. I was able to find it. He asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no and I don’t want one. He respected my answer and left. I was putting gas in my car and I was gonna pick up the trash afterwards when a creepy guy came over and was recording me on his phone. He threatened to call the cops on me. I told him I was about to pick up the trash and to please stop recording me. He recorded me the entire time I picked up the trash. He would not leave me alone. I asked him to delete the video and he said no and that he was going to keep it. It had nothing to do with the trash. I cried the whole way to Friday’s. I tried to have a good time but I cried on the way home too. I felt violated and angry. When I got to Friday‘s, I sat at my usual table with my friend. Some guy came over and said I shouldn’t sit alone and that I should sit at the bar with him. I respectfully declined and said no I’m with her and pointed to my friend. Later in the night, the guy followed me out to have a smoke and he said that I had came off as an asshole earlier. I was not rude to this dude at all. But it’s not the first time a guy has called me an asshole for respectfully saying no. Then he told me I’m too pretty to be gay. I guess when I said I’m with my friend he assumed I was dating her. Yea because his opinion of my looks chooses my sexuality (insert sarcasm). Then he started saying, “Oh you should take my number, we could go bowling or skiing.” I again respectfully declined. I told him I was interested in someone else. Then he says, “what if it doesn’t workout”. At this point I went inside to see my friend. I despise being hit on. At the end of the night I was trying to pay my bill and then he tried to offer to pay. At this point I had had it. I am a grown ass woman and I can pay my own tab thank you very much!!! It is infuriating that a lot of men won’t just accept a simple no. We have to make up a fake boyfriend or husband and even then sometimes that doesn’t work. We’re made to be assholes for respecting our own boundaries and not giving in. I am not an asshole. I would just like to thank every guy in my life that only wanted my friendship and respected my boundaries and never tried to hit on me, unless it was mutual. -Amanda

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